I want to make a zoo with you.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think my moral compass just broke
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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