My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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