literally had 100 drinks last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
