I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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