dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
They have beer where we have blood.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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