her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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