Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
