oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
