I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You don't make any sense
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