I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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