I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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