READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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