Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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