After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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