I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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