My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
