Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
