that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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