You work out of a Hotel?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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