His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
