My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
