In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
there is glitter all over my balls
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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