So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
