ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
