my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm passing your future prison.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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