Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
