I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
