Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
