On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
