Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i think my cat just said my name.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
