it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
