Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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