im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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