just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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