they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
