Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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