I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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