ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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