I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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