I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
