from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
