please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
