i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
