bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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