what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Girls should come with a carfax report
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
