you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
