He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
