just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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