is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize