dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
