hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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