her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
