I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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