You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My life is pants optional.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
