Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
