WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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