Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
