at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
