I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
