Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
