I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
