Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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