I wish I only lived at night.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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